tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21999950537259187622024-03-13T13:35:08.099-06:00Brokenness and HopeI AM A SURVIVOR!Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.comBlogger87125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-68594177044374120682019-07-15T07:48:00.002-06:002019-07-15T07:48:38.003-06:00<h1 class="entry-title" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: both; font-family: droid-serif-1, droid-serif-2, serif; font-size: 38.2px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 48px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 15px 0px 0.3em; vertical-align: baseline;">
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<a href="https://rtp4ps.org/participant-workbook/">https://rtp4ps.org/participant-workbook/</a>Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-59526372989129167012019-02-04T10:34:00.003-07:002019-02-04T10:34:56.016-07:00Spouse Abusehttps://www.lds.org/study/ensign/1999/10/a-conversation-on-spouse-abuse?lang=eng<br />
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A Conversation on Spouse Abuse</h1>
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<div data-aid="127540842" id="p1" style="--height: 85.7143px; background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212225; font-family: McKayldsLat-Regular, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Roman, Palatino, serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Italic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Italic, "Palatino Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Church leaders have consistently spoken out against spouse abuse. For example, in an October 1998 general conference address President Gordon B. Hinckley said:</em></div>
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“We condemn most strongly abusive behavior in any form. We denounce the physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional abuse of one’s spouse or children. …</div>
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“No man who abuses his wife or children is worthy to hold the priesthood of God. No man who abuses his wife or children is worthy to be a member in good standing in this Church. The abuse of one’s spouse and children is a most serious offense before God, and any who indulge in it may expect to be disciplined by the Church” (“What Are People Asking about Us?” Ensign, <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Italic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Italic, "Palatino Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Nov. 1998, 72).</em></div>
<div data-aid="127540845" id="p4" style="--height: 142.857px; background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212225; font-family: McKayldsLat-Regular, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Roman, Palatino, serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Italic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Italic, "Palatino Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The proclamation on the family also contains a forceful condemnation of abuse: “We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” </em>Ensign, <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Italic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Italic, "Palatino Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Nov. 1995, 102).</em></div>
<div data-aid="127540846" id="p5" style="--height: 371.429px; background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212225; font-family: McKayldsLat-Regular, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Roman, Palatino, serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Ensign <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Italic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Italic, "Palatino Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">staff members recently spoke with several Latter-day Saint professionals about this issue. John C. Nelson, M.D., an obstetrician-gynecologist, is on the board of the American Medical Association and is the spokesperson for the AMA Alliance SAVE (Stop America’s Violence Everywhere) program. He is a member of Salt Lake City’s Monument Park Second Ward, Monument Park North Stake. Anne L. Horton is an associate professor of social work at Brigham Young University and is a licensed clinical social worker whose practice focuses on domestic abuse. She is a member of the Ensign Third Ward, Salt Lake Ensign Stake. Brent H. Bartholomew is an attorney experienced in representing abused spouses and children. He is a member of the Lakeridge 12th Ward, Orem Utah Lakeridge North Stake.</em></div>
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Defining Spouse Abuse</h2>
</header><div data-aid="127540848" id="p6" style="--height: 57.1429px; background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212225; font-family: McKayldsLat-Regular, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Roman, Palatino, serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-BoldItalic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-BoldItalic, "Palatino Bold Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ensign:</em></span> Some think spouse abuse includes only acts of a physical nature. Thus, how should the term be defined?</div>
<div data-aid="127540849" id="p7" style="--height: 171.429px; background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212225; font-family: McKayldsLat-Regular, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Roman, Palatino, serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Anne Horton:</span> Many experts define spouse abuse as the maltreatment of another in an attempt to control him or her. Spouse abuse may be physical, emotional, verbal, or sexual. This type of abuse behavior between parents sets the tone for the rest of the family. It has severe ramifications on children as well as spouses because it traumatizes the children and may lead them to imitate that behavior later on.</div>
<div data-aid="127540850" id="p8" style="--height: 142.857px; background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212225; font-family: McKayldsLat-Regular, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Roman, Palatino, serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">John Nelson:</span> Spouse abuse involves inappropriate acts of one spouse over the other. It may involve coercive acts in which an abuser forces a person to do something that he or she normally would not do, with no particular concern for the victim. Abuse may also include the use of threats, name calling, yelling, and intimidation.</div>
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I believe that there are people, women particularly, who are abuse victims but wouldn’t describe themselves as such. They can’t go out of their homes, they have to be back at nine o’clock, they can’t go to lunch on Tuesday because they didn’t get permission from their husbands, and so on. It may not necessarily involve being beaten up, but it is still abuse and is outside the bounds the Lord has set for marriage.</div>
<div data-aid="127540852" id="p10" style="--height: 85.7143px; background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212225; font-family: McKayldsLat-Regular, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Roman, Palatino, serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Brent Bartholomew:</span> Spouse abuse is behavior that is destructive to the body, mind, or spirit. In fact, long after any possible physical injuries heal, the emotional scars of abuse may still persist.</div>
<div data-aid="127540853" id="p11" style="--height: 57.1429px; background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212225; font-family: McKayldsLat-Regular, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Roman, Palatino, serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-BoldItalic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-BoldItalic, "Palatino Bold Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ensign:</em></span> What are some signs of spouse abuse that are not as obvious as bruises or other physical marks?</div>
<div data-aid="127540854" id="p12" style="--height: 257.143px; background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212225; font-family: McKayldsLat-Regular, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Roman, Palatino, serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Anne Horton:</span> There are usually many signs of abuse rather than a single isolated sign. One may be when an individual shows fear at times when this would not be expected. For instance, a person may be afraid to speak without the spouse’s permission. Abuse victims may be isolated a lot; they may not be allowed to take part in community activities, and the people they see and how their time is spent may be closely monitored by the spouse. Those are some indicators we worry about. However, we do not want people to see abuse where none exists.</div>
<div data-aid="127540855" id="p13" style="--height: 114.286px; background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212225; font-family: McKayldsLat-Regular, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Roman, Palatino, serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Brent Bartholomew:</span> It’s important that we don’t encourage witch hunts against others in any way because abuse is not a part of the vast majority of marriage relationships. But when abuse does occur, the problem needs to be addressed constructively.</div>
<div data-aid="127540856" id="p14" style="--height: 114.286px; background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212225; font-family: McKayldsLat-Regular, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Roman, Palatino, serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">John Nelson:</span> One possible sign of spouse abuse is an abrupt change in behavior. For example, a person who is typically outgoing and happy suddenly becomes withdrawn. The combination of warning signs sometimes clarifies the picture.</div>
<div data-aid="127540857" id="p15" style="--height: 28.5714px; background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212225; font-family: McKayldsLat-Regular, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Roman, Palatino, serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-BoldItalic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-BoldItalic, "Palatino Bold Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ensign:</em></span> What are some reasons abuse occurs?</div>
<div data-aid="127540858" id="p16" style="--height: 200px; background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212225; font-family: McKayldsLat-Regular, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Roman, Palatino, serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Brent Bartholomew:</span> Abuse may be part of a learned behavior pattern. In some cases there may be a biochemical imbalance or medical problem that contributes to a person’s abusive behavior. In other cases the abuser may be involved with drugs or alcohol. There is no single reason why abuse occurs; many factors can contribute to abusive behavior, and abusers can come from a wide variety of backgrounds.</div>
<div data-aid="127540859" id="p17" style="--height: 85.7143px; background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212225; font-family: McKayldsLat-Regular, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Roman, Palatino, serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">John Nelson:</span> Ultimately the abuser is responsible for his or her behavior. It is not the alcohol, for example, that <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Italic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Italic, "Palatino Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">makes</em>people abusive. They are abusive first, and the alcohol may be a facilitator.</div>
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In some cases abusers misunderstand or misapply the concept of leadership in the home. I want to make it very clear that it’s not the concept of a presiding leader in the home that is wrong; it’s the misapplication of it. The 121st section of the Doctrine and Covenants speaks of that specifically: “The rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, … but when we … exercise control or dominion or compulsion … in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves” (<a class="scripture-ref" href="https://www.lds.org/study/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/121.36-37?#35" old-href="../../../scriptures/dc-testament/dc/121.html?verse=36-37#p36" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #177c9c; font: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;">D&C 121:36–37</a>).</div>
<section style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212225; font-family: McKayldsLat-Regular, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Roman, Palatino, serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><header style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font: inherit; margin: 3.556em 0px 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><h2 data-aid="127540861" id="title3" style="--height: 38.2857px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: ZoramldsLat-Light, "Zoram ldsLat", Zoram, Arial, sans-serif-light, sans-serif; font-size: 1.778em; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 300; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Changing Abusive Behavior</h2>
</header><div data-aid="127540862" id="p19" style="--height: 28.5714px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-BoldItalic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-BoldItalic, "Palatino Bold Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ensign:</em></span> How likely is it that abusers will change?</div>
<div data-aid="127540864" id="p20" style="--height: 200px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Brent Bartholomew:</span> If they genuinely want to change and if they seek appropriate help and put forth the required effort, they can be successful. No one should say, “Well, this is just the way I am.” It may take action by a Church disciplinary council because disciplinary councils are set up to help people repent and change. Through sincere, sustained effort on their part and by the Savior’s atoning power, they can receive a mighty change of heart, repent, and be forgiven.</div>
<div data-aid="127540865" id="p21" style="--height: 85.7143px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Anne Horton:</span> Change is possible, but it isn’t easy, and it doesn’t take place over just a few counseling sessions or progressive steps. It takes time and commitment.</div>
<div data-aid="127540866" id="p22" style="--height: 114.286px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Abusers need to know their behavior is a choice. Every time they hit someone, every time they slam a door in someone’s face, they’ve made a choice to do that and they need to take responsibility for their actions.</div>
<div data-aid="127540867" id="p23" style="--height: 85.7143px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Of the many resources we have for dealing with the problem of abuse, the greatest resources are gospel teachings and our Church leaders, with their commitment to help us strengthen our families.</div>
</section><section style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212225; font-family: McKayldsLat-Regular, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Roman, Palatino, serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><header style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font: inherit; margin: 3.556em 0px 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><h2 data-aid="127540868" id="title4" style="--height: 38.2857px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: ZoramldsLat-Light, "Zoram ldsLat", Zoram, Arial, sans-serif-light, sans-serif; font-size: 1.778em; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 300; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
How Church Leaders Can Help</h2>
</header><div data-aid="127540869" id="p24" style="--height: 57.1429px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-BoldItalic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-BoldItalic, "Palatino Bold Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ensign:</em></span> What kind of help can abuse victims receive from Church leaders?</div>
<div data-aid="127540870" id="p25" style="--height: 314.286px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">John Nelson:</span> If things are going on that ought not to be, members have the right to go to their local ecclesiastical leaders for help. Bishops or branch presidents, who are encouraged to conduct a private interview with the injured spouse, have the right to receive revelation regarding the abusive situation. There are times when bishops may not know how to deal with the problem. In those cases bishops most likely would seek professional guidance, possibly from LDS Family Services. Instructions on dealing with abuse are found in <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Italic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Italic, "Palatino Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The Church Handbook of Instructions,</em> which is available to local leaders. There are many avenues. It is not incumbent upon bishops to be trained counselors to provide help.</div>
<div data-aid="127540871" id="p26" style="--height: 314.286px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Brent Bartholomew:</span> I think most bishops realize their own limitations. They can give spiritual guidance and spiritual help, but additional assistance may be required. In some severe cases victims may need to be temporarily outside of the home, so they may need short-term housing and assistance in that respect. They may need counseling that is more intensive and more frequent than the bishop can provide. In severe cases where physical abuse is involved, they may need legal help to get a protective order. A bishop can let them know where to go for the type of help they need. People who are being victimized by abuse should not wait until the problem becomes dangerous before seeking assistance.</div>
<div data-aid="127540872" id="p27" style="--height: 85.7143px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">John Nelson:</span> We need to understand that the Lord has called the bishop to be the steward over the members of his ward. I know the Lord can bless those leaders with the inspiration they need.</div>
<div data-aid="127540873" id="p28" style="--height: 200px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Anne Horton:</span> The Church produces spiritually directed resources that bishops can share with people who may need them, for example, <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Italic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Italic, "Palatino Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Preventing and Responding to Spouse Abuse</em>(pamphlet, 1997). The bishop can put individuals in contact with therapists who have been identified as being responsible and trustworthy. If these individuals cannot afford to pay the entire cost of counseling, the bishop can help arrange for financial assistance.</div>
<div data-aid="127540874" id="p29" style="--height: 85.7143px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">John Nelson:</span> If people are not comfortable going to their bishops at first, they may consider talking to their physician or some other health professional they know.</div>
<section style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><header style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font: inherit; margin: 3.556em 0px 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><h2 data-aid="127540875" id="title5" style="--height: 38.2857px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: ZoramldsLat-Light, "Zoram ldsLat", Zoram, Arial, sans-serif-light, sans-serif; font-size: 1.778em; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 300; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Becoming Informed</h2>
</header><div data-aid="127540876" id="p30" style="--height: 57.1429px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-BoldItalic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-BoldItalic, "Palatino Bold Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ensign:</em></span> Initially some victims may want to obtain information anonymously. Where can they go for this information?</div>
<div data-aid="127540877" id="p31" style="--height: 428.571px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Anne Horton: </span>In addition to the Church pamphlet <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Italic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Italic, "Palatino Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Preventing and Responding to Spouse Abuse,</em> much useful information is available in bookstores and libraries, though people should be selective in choosing materials that are in harmony with Church policies and practices. Many towns have crisis centers for women and children where victims can call or walk in and speak with counselors who may provide them with literature or other resources. Victims don’t have to sign their names or be photographed; confidentiality is closely observed. Other resources are the local police department and the department of human services, both of which should be listed in the local telephone book. They can provide helpful telephone numbers to call. And usually the front section of the phone book will list community services that are offered. One may want to approach LDS Family Services for information and direction in areas where this is available, although this is generally done with a bishop’s referral.</div>
<div data-aid="127540878" id="p32" style="--height: 28.5714px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Information is usually more readily accessible than most people think.</div>
<div data-aid="127540879" id="p33" style="--height: 57.1429px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-BoldItalic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-BoldItalic, "Palatino Bold Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ensign:</em></span> When someone believes that a family member or friend is in an abusive situation, how can they appropriately help that person?</div>
<div data-aid="127540880" id="p34" style="--height: 200px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">John Nelson:</span> One of the most important things a person can do to help an abuse victim is to <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Italic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Italic, "Palatino Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">listen.</em> When we offer counsel for problems we do not fully understand, we may only exacerbate the problem. But when we listen, the very fact that someone is acknowledging that what is going on is wrong may be the first step in the victim’s realizing that the abuse must be stopped. We need to listen carefully, we need to listen nonjudgmentally.</div>
<div data-aid="127540881" id="p35" style="--height: 314.286px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Brent Bartholomew:</span> If you have strong evidence that someone you know is experiencing spouse abuse, you might say to the person, “It sounds like there might be a problem; may I help?” That’s a direct approach. You might offer to take your friend to see the bishop. It might not be so intimidating for your friend to talk with him about the problem if there is somebody supportive to help. If it’s someone you don’t know well, or if you feel it may be dangerous for you to get involved, you can say to your ecclesiastical leader, “Next door here’s what I’ve observed; they seem to need some help.” Staying silent only makes the problem worse. However, it is absolutely crucial that it be done in a confidential manner.</div>
</section><section style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><header style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font: inherit; margin: 3.556em 0px 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><h2 data-aid="127540883" id="title6" style="--height: 38.2857px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: ZoramldsLat-Light, "Zoram ldsLat", Zoram, Arial, sans-serif-light, sans-serif; font-size: 1.778em; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 300; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
The Seriousness of Abuse</h2>
</header><div data-aid="127540885" id="p36" style="--height: 85.7143px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-BoldItalic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-BoldItalic, "Palatino Bold Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ensign:</em></span> Leaving the home may seem like a drastic step for someone deeply committed to a marriage. What would make this action necessary?</div>
<div data-aid="127540887" id="p37" style="--height: 85.7143px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Anne Horton:</span> Safety issues—especially when physical or sexual abuse is occurring—always come first in a crisis. After people are safe, other relationship issues can be addressed.</div>
<div data-aid="127540889" id="p38" style="--height: 171.429px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Brent Bartholomew:</span> The marriage may still be workable, but sometimes there needs to be a separation so that the abuse can stop and the healing process can start. During this time, a couple may seek counseling to learn how to deal with problems effectively without resorting to abuse. But both parties must be committed to the change; otherwise, change is almost impossible.</div>
<div data-aid="127540891" id="p39" style="--height: 114.286px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
In severe cases, counseling for both spouses may not be effective and may even increase the risk of further abuse. In such cases the most effective treatment may be court-ordered domestic violence counseling for the perpetrator.</div>
<div data-aid="127540893" id="p40" style="--height: 342.857px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">John Nelson:</span> The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists in Washington, D.C., recommends specifically what they call an exit or a safety plan for people in physical danger. The safety plan is, if you cannot prevent being physically attacked, have in mind a place to go that is available day or night, rain or shine. You need to think about the details. You’ve got to have money, car keys, identification, prescription medication, clothing for the children, soap, a person who can receive you day or night or a key to get in, and a way to get there. A crisis shelter may be your best option because most have police protection. That’s a last resort, but that’s the kind of information that might make it possible to diffuse the situation, at least for the short term.</div>
<div data-aid="127540895" id="p41" style="--height: 28.5714px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-BoldItalic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-BoldItalic, "Palatino Bold Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ensign:</em></span> Is false reporting of abuse a valid issue?</div>
<div data-aid="127540897" id="p42" style="--height: 57.1429px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Brent Bartholomew:</span> False reporting may occur on occasion, but a report of abuse should always be taken seriously.</div>
<div data-aid="127540899" id="p43" style="--height: 85.7143px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Anne Horton:</span> Even if abuse hasn’t occurred, a problem of some kind exists when someone would make that accusation, and the problem needs to be addressed.</div>
<div data-aid="127540901" id="p44" style="--height: 28.5714px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">John Nelson:</span> If people say they’re being abused, believe them.</div>
<header style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 3.556em 0px 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><h2 data-aid="127540903" id="title7" style="--height: 38.2857px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: ZoramldsLat-Light, "Zoram ldsLat", Zoram, Arial, sans-serif-light, sans-serif; font-size: 1.778em; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 300; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Healing through the Gospel</h2>
</header><div data-aid="127540905" id="p45" style="--height: 28.5714px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-BoldItalic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-BoldItalic, "Palatino Bold Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ensign:</em></span> How can the gospel help those dealing with abuse?</div>
<div data-aid="127540907" id="p46" style="--height: 285.714px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Brent Bartholomew:</span> The Savior’s Atonement encompasses all suffering, not only suffering for our sins but also suffering as a consequence of others’ sins. The pain of those who have been abused can be eliminated through the sanctifying power of the Atonement and the pure and perfect love of Christ. Sometimes this healing process occurs more slowly when a woman has difficulty developing a relationship with our Heavenly Father due to the inappropriate manner in which she has been treated by male figures in her life. But through divine help, she can eventually be healed from the consequences of her spouse’s sins of abuse.</div>
<div data-aid="127540909" id="p47" style="--height: 114.286px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Now, I’ve used the term <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Italic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Italic, "Palatino Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">woman</em> here because abused women are most at risk for serious injury or death. But men can also be abused by their wives. Such abuse is serious and can have lasting, damaging consequences.</div>
<div data-aid="127540911" id="p48" style="--height: 57.1429px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-BoldItalic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-BoldItalic, "Palatino Bold Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ensign:</em></span> How can marriage partners exercise the forgiveness the gospel requires and yet avoid falling into the repeating cycle of abuse?</div>
<div data-aid="127540913" id="p49" style="--height: 228.571px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Anne Horton:</span> Just as repentance is a process, so is forgiveness. Unfortunately many people think that forgiving equals forgetting and, therefore, are afraid forgiveness makes them vulnerable. But while the Lord commands us to forgive, He doesn’t tell us to forget any lessons we have learned or demand that we trust an abuser. We can forgive someone without putting ourselves in the position to be victimized again. Love can be achieved and so can forgiveness, but we still must protect ourselves.</div>
<div data-aid="127540915" id="p50" style="--height: 314.286px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Brent Bartholomew:</span> It is very important to learn to forgive, but an abused spouse shouldn’t feel she has to return to a relationship with someone who is unwilling to repent of destructive behavior. When victims who have removed themselves from abusive situations forgive their abusers, it may not mean much to the abusers themselves. But it can mean a great deal to the people who have been abused. In some cases, the anger they feel is more destructive than the abuse they suffer. People need to overcome that anger and feel the Savior’s atoning sacrifice and power in their lives. It can be a difficult process, but it allows spouses who have experienced abuse in the past to move forward.</div>
<div data-aid="127540917" id="p51" style="--height: 85.7143px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">John Nelson:</span> We need to make it very clear that victims do not need to ask for forgiveness for something they haven’t done. No one deserves to be a victim of abuse.</div>
<header style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 3.556em 0px 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><h2 data-aid="127540919" id="title8" style="--height: 38.2857px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: ZoramldsLat-Light, "Zoram ldsLat", Zoram, Arial, sans-serif-light, sans-serif; font-size: 1.778em; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 300; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Preventing the Problem</h2>
</header><div data-aid="127540921" id="p52" style="--height: 28.5714px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-BoldItalic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-BoldItalic, "Palatino Bold Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ensign:</em></span> What can be done to prevent abuse?</div>
<div data-aid="127540923" id="p53" style="--height: 114.286px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Brent Bartholomew:</span> In a general sense, youth as well as adults need to be taught correct principles on which to base their relationships with others, and they need positive role models to emulate. Caring priesthood and auxiliary leaders can help in this process.</div>
<div data-aid="127540925" id="p54" style="--height: 85.7143px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
If a couple is worthily married in the temple after becoming best friends over time, that greatly increases their chances for a marriage that is free from abuse.</div>
<div data-aid="127540926" id="p55" style="--height: 114.286px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
It is important to learn to effectively communicate and problem-solve with your spouse because most abusers do not know how to solve problems. It is <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Italic, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Italic, "Palatino Italic", Palatino, serif; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">never</em> acceptable to hit, belittle, or otherwise try to control a spouse in an attempt to solve a problem.</div>
<div data-aid="127540926" id="p55" style="--height: 114.286px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">John Nelson:</span> When two people are dating, they should watch carefully how the potential marriage partner reacts to children, other family members, pets, frustrations, and so forth. These actions often reflect the way a person will treat the spouse or other family members.</div>
<div data-aid="127540926" id="p55" style="--height: 114.286px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Brent Bartholomew:</span> Here is another clue: a potential marriage partner who suggests that standards of personal worthiness be set aside in the name of love should be shunned. Abuse is a selfish act. People who invite someone they profess to love to participate in spiritually destructive behavior are acting out of selfishness, not love. Furthermore, those who currently have problems stemming from substance abuse, sexual immorality, pornography, or rage are much more likely to become abusive because they lack self-control.</div>
<div data-aid="127540926" id="p55" style="--height: 114.286px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0.889em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: McKayldsLat-Bold, "McKay ldsLat", McKay, Palatino-Bold, "Palatino Bold", Palatino, serif; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">John Nelson:</span> I think we all ought to celebrate the good marriages we see. I know that not every aspect of these relationships is perfect, but we can learn a great deal from many around us who have successfully made gospel teachings a foundation for their marriages.</div>
<figure class="image" id="figure1" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0.889em 0px 1.778em; vertical-align: baseline;"><figcaption style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font: inherit; margin: 0.444em 0px 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div data-aid="127540694" id="figure1_p1" style="--height: 19.4286px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #53575b; font-family: ZoramldsLat-Regular, "Zoram ldsLat", Zoram, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 0.778em !important; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: 1.4 !important; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Photography by Welden C. Andersen</div>
</figcaption></figure><figure class="image" id="figure2" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0.889em 0px 1.778em; vertical-align: baseline;"><figcaption style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font: inherit; margin: 0.444em 0px 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div data-aid="127540695" id="figure2_p1" style="--height: 19.4286px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #53575b; font-family: ZoramldsLat-Regular, "Zoram ldsLat", Zoram, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 0.778em !important; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: 1.4 !important; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Experts on spouse abuse: John C. Nelson, Brent H. Bartholomew, Anne L. Horton</div>
</figcaption></figure><figure class="image" id="figure3" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0.889em 0px 1.778em; vertical-align: baseline;"><figcaption style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font: inherit; margin: 0.444em 0px 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div data-aid="127540696" id="figure3_p1" style="--height: 19.4286px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #53575b; font-family: ZoramldsLat-Regular, "Zoram ldsLat", Zoram, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 0.778em !important; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: 1.4 !important; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Anne L. Horton; John C. Nelson</div>
</figcaption></figure><figure class="image" id="figure4" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0.889em 0px 1.778em; vertical-align: baseline;"><figcaption style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font: inherit; margin: 0.444em 0px 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div data-aid="127540697" id="figure4_p1" style="--height: 19.4286px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #53575b; font-family: ZoramldsLat-Regular, "Zoram ldsLat", Zoram, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 0.778em !important; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: inherit; line-height: 1.4 !important; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Brent H. Bartholomew</div>
</figcaption></figure></section></section></div>
Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-8239911161411646492018-10-21T16:41:00.000-06:002018-10-21T16:41:02.935-06:00Success <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGS0rooC3B1Miz2bw0cnThNezcSwLPG0mpUVsz_4JewxDEq4d7RDEFn6BqSn0yzNwK4bpvHYkG-vD45qw4L5JbqGYEhp5qU4i3Esudz1RX5hgGPRnOYRf_jYSY3DYh8wSeZagFDno19UG8/s1600/IMG_20181021_132438.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGS0rooC3B1Miz2bw0cnThNezcSwLPG0mpUVsz_4JewxDEq4d7RDEFn6BqSn0yzNwK4bpvHYkG-vD45qw4L5JbqGYEhp5qU4i3Esudz1RX5hgGPRnOYRf_jYSY3DYh8wSeZagFDno19UG8/s320/IMG_20181021_132438.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-55423759986986583482018-09-10T11:34:00.002-06:002018-09-10T11:35:43.672-06:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Listening to a webinar on Ethics for a Certified Peer Support Specialist today.<br />
<br />
It was said that we cannot be their friend, but we can be friendly.<br />
<br />
Some of the following are ways we can be friendly or helpful in supporting others we come in contact with:<br />
<br />
Support choice<br />
Share hope<br />
Withhold judgement<br />
Listen with emotional sensitivity<br />
Be curious and embrace diversity<br />
Educate and advocate<br />
Address issues with caring and compassion<br />
Encourage to give and receive<br />
Embody equality<br />
Focus on strengths not weaknesses<br />
Set clear expectations<br />
Focus on the person not the problems<br />
<br />
https://www.peerleadershipcenter.org/Document.asp?DocID=6619<br />
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Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-22368649414160994362017-05-02T11:07:00.001-06:002017-05-02T11:07:56.752-06:00Record KeepingRecently I started pulling some rubbermaid bins from the basement to my upstairs office to start going through them. First I am going to organize them into the members of my family. Each bin being for a specific person, child #1, child #2, and so on. So I got underway doing that. I think I have about 17 large bins full of certificates, pictures, awards, vital records, and so on, and on, and on. It was so fun looking at my babies, things they had written, and watching them grow up again through their pictures and things. I found pictures of ancestors for whom I have done LDS Temple work for. I never even knew I had these photos. My family gives me a lot of things. It's all a bit overwhelming when I look at all those bins, but as I dig in it sure feels good to get them organized. After they are better organized, I plan to take all those yearly pictures and put them into sleeves instead of frames. I've always kept my pictures in frames, but it sure makes those bins heavy and takes up so much more room. While doing this I have come across some old notes, letters, and journals of mine. I'm 46 and for the most part have kept a journal since I was 14 years old. It is not only fun to take that walk down memory lane and feel those things again, but to see my ups and downs was amazing to me. We forget so much of the things we do, the inspiration and revelations we receive, and the progress we make. I try to keep a few journals. One is on my phone. When I am out and about or in the middle of the night, I send messages to myself as things happen or thoughts come to my head. I keep a mental health journal, which I really only write in when I'm struggling and lost in depression or anxiety. I keep my daily journal of my life, and my work in the gospel on my computer. I also keep a study journal. As I study the scriptures, good book, music, and so on I write things that stand out to me that day in my studies in that journal. Yes, I could just keep one journal, but this is how I prefer to organize my life. I have made so much progress in the past 3 1/2 years, and someday, or on occasion I can pull it up and read and see how far I've come. Sometimes I feel like I'm not making progress in my life, but reading back through these records really boosts my spirits and helps me to feel God's love and guidance in my life. Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-10671656398117701832017-03-27T09:27:00.000-06:002017-03-27T09:27:16.286-06:00Anxiety And Anxiety Disorders<div id="details" style="background: 0px 0px rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans", sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 35px 24.1339px 55px 36.2054px; position: relative; vertical-align: baseline; zoom: 1;">
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Anxiety and Anxiety Disorders</h1>
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By Lyle J. Burrup</div>
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LDS Family Services</div>
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</section><section class="sash-icons" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 2.4rem; margin: 30px auto 0px; text-align: center;"><a class="listen" href="https://www.lds.org/ensign/2017/03/anxiety-and-anxiety-disorders?lang=eng#listen=audio" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; display: inline-block; font-size: 24px; margin: 0px 10px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" title="Listen"><span class="lumen-icon" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline-flex; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span aria-hidden="true" class="lumen-icon__graphic lumen-icon__graphic--audio" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><span class="lumen-icon__text" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; left: -1e+06px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; vertical-align: baseline;">Listen</span></span></a><a href="https://www.lds.org/ensign/2017/03/anxiety-and-anxiety-disorders?lang=eng#d" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; display: inline-block; font-size: 24px; margin: 0px 10px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" title="Download"><span class="lumen-icon" id="triggerDownloadDrawer" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline-flex; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span aria-hidden="true" class="lumen-icon__graphic lumen-icon__graphic--download" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><span class="lumen-icon__text" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; left: -1e+06px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; vertical-align: baseline;">Download</span></span></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; display: inline-block; font-size: 24px; margin: 0px 10px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" title="Print"><span class="lumen-icon" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline-flex; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span aria-hidden="true" class="lumen-icon__graphic lumen-icon__graphic--print" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><span class="lumen-icon__text" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; left: -1e+06px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; vertical-align: baseline;">Print</span></span></a><a href="https://www.lds.org/ensign/2017/03/anxiety-and-anxiety-disorders?lang=eng#d" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; display: inline-block; font-size: 24px; margin: 0px 10px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" title="Share"><span class="lumen-icon" id="triggerShareDrawer" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline-flex; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span aria-hidden="true" class="lumen-icon__graphic lumen-icon__graphic--share" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><span class="lumen-icon__text" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; left: -1e+06px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; vertical-align: baseline;">Share</span></span></a></section><div class="intro" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: "Open Sans", Zoram, "noto sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 2.8rem; font-stretch: normal; line-height: 44px; margin-bottom: 26px; margin-top: 25px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; width: 589.839px;">
It’s normal to feel anxious, but anxiety disorders can interfere with a person’s life. The better we understand these disorders, the better we can help each other.</div>
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Photo illustration from Getty Images</div>
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Imagine that a member of the bishopric telephones two ward members to ask them to say the opening and closing prayers in <a class="no-link-style" href="https://www.lds.org/topics/sacrament?lang=eng" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: none !important; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none !important; vertical-align: baseline;">sacrament</a> meeting. Both members feel nervous. One has butterflies in their stomach about saying the prayer but thinks through what to say and goes through with it. The other has an overwhelming sense of dread accompanied by an elevated heart rate and hyperventilation and does not go to church that Sunday. One feels relief at being able to do something difficult. The other has other similar panic episodes over the next few months out of fear of being called on to pray and avoids going to church for quite a while.</div>
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This contrast highlights the fundamental difference between most people’s experience of anxiety and the experiences of people with anxiety disorders.</div>
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Different Experiences</h2>
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Anxiety is a normal human emotion. Everyone experiences it. It is part of the “opposition in all things,” without which there would be no “happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility” (<a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/2.11?lang=eng#10" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">2 Nephi 2:11</a>).<span class="noteMarker" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 0; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative; top: -0.5em; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://www.lds.org/ensign/2017/03/anxiety-and-anxiety-disorders?lang=eng#footnote1-13363_000_022" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 9px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">1</a></span> As such, this emotion serves us well. It is part of our emotional alarm system. It motivates us to prepare for important events. It causes us to protect ourselves when we feel threatened. It enhances performance. It helps us make thoughtful decisions, solve problems, and prepare for challenges. It reveals what we care about.</div>
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On the other hand, there are also <span class="emphasis" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 18px; font-style: italic; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">anxiety disorders.</span> These interfere with our alarm system and its many benefits and are characterized by persistent, overwhelming, uncontrollable anxiety that impedes normal functioning. They include social anxiety; phobias; panic attacks; repetitive, intrusive, objectionable thoughts, impulses, and images; and are often accompanied by a host of physical symptoms and extreme avoidance behavior.</div>
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Many among us suffer from such disorders. Therefore, it’s important that we understand these disorders so that we can offer appropriate support and help.</div>
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How Anxiety Disorders Develop</h2>
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In addition to extreme avoidance of anxiety-filled situations, several human traits come together in a “perfect storm” to create debilitating anxiety: biological vulnerability to anxiety, coupled with stress; worry; distorted perception and thinking; perfectionism; excessive niceness; and unresolved regrets.</div>
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Biological Vulnerability to Anxiety, Coupled with Excessive Stress</h3>
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We inherit from our parents our physical and emotional makeup, including vulnerability to certain illnesses. Just as some families are vulnerable to high blood pressure or diabetes, some are also vulnerable to certain emotional disorders.</div>
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Vulnerability by itself will not cause an anxiety disorder. However, when it is coupled with long-term, unresolved stress, a person may develop such a disorder. Understanding this can help us know, for instance, that some people may need to take medication to manage body chemistry when they have high levels of constant anxiety.</div>
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Excessive Worry</h3>
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Worry comes when we feel we are highly vulnerable to some threat and also feel we have little power to do anything about it. Like anxiety, worry can be very helpful. However, when it is excessive, persistent, and unchecked over a long period of time, it can evolve into an anxiety disorder.</div>
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Distorted Perception and Thinking</h3>
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People who suffer from anxiety disorders have distorted perceptions and thoughts. Perception begins with what we experience through our five senses and then includes the meaning we give to our experience. This filtered perception accumulates over time. However, it is often false when not guided by the truth.</div>
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Anxiety disorders distort thinking. For instance, fear that a dog might bite you could be very rational in a given situation. However, thinking that you should not go outside because a dog might attack you is irrational.</div>
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A theory that counselors use to teach people how to change distorted perception and thinking states that our emotions are the result of events and experiences filtered through how we perceive and think. The simple formula of this theory is A+B=C: The key to our emotions (C) is perception (B) of an event (A) rather than the event itself. We know this because two people can experience the same thing but feel very differently about it.</div>
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If you can replace irrational thoughts and beliefs with more rational, comforting ones, your anxiety will drop and become more normal.</div>
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Excessive Perfectionism</h3>
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Perfectionism can be functional and helpful when used as a tool to improve and grow. However, two common irrational beliefs that create anxiety are “People will look down on me if I make a mistake” and “I’m less worthwhile when I fail.” These beliefs limit our use of mistakes to teach us (see <a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/ether/12.27?lang=eng#26" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Ether 12:27</a>; <a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/1.25%2C27?lang=eng#24" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">D&C 1:25, 27</a>) and ignore the fact that we have great worth as sons and daughters of God (see <a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/18.10?lang=eng#9" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">D&C 18:10</a>).</div>
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Unhealthy perfectionism causes people to hold themselves to standards they don’t hold others to. It causes procrastination. It takes the joy out of trying new things. For example, if people’s friends invite them to go bowling, they may fear what their friends will think if they bowl poorly. Of course, they themselves would not look down on friends who bowl poorly, but they do not see how irrational their thinking has become.</div>
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The Lord commanded us to be perfect (see <a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/matt/5.48?lang=eng#47" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Matthew 5:48</a>), but He also said that if we draw close to Him, He will show us our weakness (see <a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/ether/12.27?lang=eng#26" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Ether 12:27</a>). There appears to be a conflict between these two concepts unless you understand that perfection (completeness, wholeness) is an eternal condition that comes through the Savior’s Atonement “on conditions of repentance” (<a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/42.13?lang=eng#12" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Alma 42:13</a>). We don’t make ourselves perfect; <a class="no-link-style" href="http://www.mormon.org/beliefs/jesus-christ" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: none !important; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none !important; vertical-align: baseline;">Jesus Christ</a> does. We just do our best and keep repenting when we fall short, relying on His grace to make weak things strong.</div>
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If we don’t resolve the distorted thinking common to perfectionism, we become the slaves rather than the masters of our high standards, and we become vulnerable to extreme anxiety.</div>
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Read More</h3>
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For more on perfectionism, read President <a href="https://www.lds.org/church/leader/russell-m-nelson?lang=eng" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Russell M. Nelson</a>, “<a href="http://www.lds.org/general-conference/1995/10/perfection-pending?lang=eng" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Perfection Pending</a>,” <span class="emphasis" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 18px; font-style: normal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ensign,</span> Nov. 1995, 86; Elder Cecil O. Samuelson, “<span class="crossRef" fileidref="26941_000_005" paraidref="p1" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Perfectionism</span>,” <span class="emphasis" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 18px; font-style: normal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">New Era,</span> Jan. 2006, 10; and Elder Gerrit W. Gong, “<span class="crossRef" fileidref="10907_000_019" paraidref="p1" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Becoming Perfect in Christ</span>,” <span class="emphasis" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 18px; font-style: normal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ensign,</span> July 2014, 14.</div>
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Excessive Niceness</h3>
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Another positive trait that can nevertheless leave us vulnerable to anxiety is niceness. The Savior said, “Blessed are the peacemakers” (<a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/matt/5.9?lang=eng#8" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Matthew 5:9</a>), and the world could surely use more of them. However, almost everyone with an anxiety disorder is <span class="emphasis" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 18px; font-style: italic; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">excessively</span> nice. They feel guilty and feel like failures when they’re unable to create peace and tranquility in everyone’s life, solve everyone’s problems, or make everyone happy. It’s an unreasonable and unhealthy standard to hold ourselves to.</div>
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A Specific Unresolved Regret or Guilt</h3>
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Everybody has regrets. We’ve all failed or let someone down. People with anxiety disorders, however, hold on to intense regret and guilt. These feelings, coupled with excessive niceness, cause them to avoid situations where they might repeat the “offending” behavior so as to not upset or disappoint anyone ever again. This is often the root of their anxiety. Bringing the problem to conscious awareness, dealing with it directly, and taking action to resolve it and let it go usually bring rapid recovery.</div>
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Anxiety Disorders and the Spirit</h2>
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The <a class="no-link-style" href="https://www.lds.org/topics/holy-ghost?lang=eng" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: none !important; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none !important; vertical-align: baseline;">Holy Ghost</a> is the Spirit of Truth and the Spirit of Peace. The Spirit works quietly (see <a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/1-ne/17.45?lang=eng#44" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">1 Nephi 17:45</a>). Anxiety is loud and obnoxious, so to speak, making it difficult to feel the Spirit and depend on your faith. Faith is trust in God.<span class="noteMarker" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 0; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative; top: -0.5em; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://www.lds.org/ensign/2017/03/anxiety-and-anxiety-disorders?lang=eng#footnote2-13363_000_022" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 9px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">2</a></span> The opposite of faith is uncertainty and mistrust. Is it any wonder that anxiety disorders often undermine faith?</div>
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One manifestation of the Spirit of Truth is that we are able to think clearly and rationally. Jacob says: “The Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be” (<a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/jacob/4.13?lang=eng#12" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Jacob 4:13</a>). As we listen to the Spirit, we will know the truth, and the truth will make us free (see <a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/john/8.32?lang=eng#31" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">John 8:32</a>). In doing so, we can avoid the common error of “looking beyond the mark” (<a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/jacob/4.14?lang=eng#13" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Jacob 4:14</a>). One way we look beyond the mark is to set expectations for ourselves beyond what the Lord has set, tormenting ourselves unnecessarily. By listening to the Spirit of Truth, we can accept the reality of things that we may believe are unacceptable, such as imperfection and weakness.</div>
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Faith in the Savior’s Atonement and <a class="no-link-style" href="https://www.lds.org/topics/resurrection?lang=eng" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: none !important; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none !important; vertical-align: baseline;">Resurrection</a>, combined with hope and charity, should anchor our lives (see <a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/moro/7.40-48?lang=eng#39" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Moroni 7:40–48</a>).</div>
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Let Us Be One</h2>
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Anxiety disorders may be a lifelong struggle for some, but with training in how to change distorted perceptions, thoughts, and feelings, they can become manageable. We can all benefit from understanding anxiety better. If <a class="no-link-style" href="http://www.mormon.org/values/family" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: none !important; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none !important; vertical-align: baseline;">family</a> members, friends, or ward members are struggling, we can offer them support and empathy. Alma taught that we need to be “willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; … willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort” (<a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/mosiah/18.8-11?lang=eng#7" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Mosiah 18:8–11</a>). At the end of His mortal ministry, the Savior’s heartfelt prayer was that we be one as He and the Father are one (see <a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/john/17.9-10%2C20-23?lang=eng#8" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">John 17:9–10, 20–23</a>; see also <a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/3-ne/19.20-23%2C27-29?lang=eng#19" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">3 Nephi 19:20–23, 27–29</a>). One of the ways we can do this is to support and comfort those in anguish.</div>
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If you are struggling, you can find comfort through the gospel of Jesus Christ, assisted by professional counseling if needed. And in His Church you can find support and acceptance as we all strive together to become one and strengthen one another.</div>
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Normal Anxiety vs. Anxiety Disorders</h2>
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NORMAL ANXIETY</div>
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ANXIETY DISORDER</div>
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Mild</div>
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Intense</div>
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Brief; easily resolved</div>
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Lasts several months; very difficult to resolve</div>
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Related to a specific event</div>
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Extends beyond a specific event</div>
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Caused by rational fear or worry</div>
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Irrational; distorts the truth; causes false perceptions</div>
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Motivates to action; facilitates choice and growth</div>
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Causes feeling of loss of control; limits functioning and action; causes avoidance, indecisiveness; hinders making choices; limits growth</div>
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Person has low biological vulnerability to anxiety; manages stress, worry, “niceness,” perception, perfectionism in positive ways; has no unresolved internal conflict or regret</div>
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Person has high biological vulnerability to anxiety; challenged by stress, worry, “niceness,” perception, perfectionism; may have unresolved internal conflict and regret</div>
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No physical, behavioral, social, mental, or spiritual symptoms</div>
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Symptoms include fatigue; headaches; muscle tension; nausea; loss of appetite; panic attacks; avoiding people, situations, places; difficulty concentrating, reading, learning; difficulty feeling the Spirit and having faith</div>
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How to Help People with Anxiety</h2>
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<img alt="man and woman smiling at each other" src="https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/images/magazines/ensign/2017/03/mormon-couple-smiling_1873874.jpg" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; vertical-align: middle;" /></div>
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Often people with anxiety are afraid of what others will think of them. They don’t want people to see them have a panic attack or other manifestation of their problem. They try to hide it. They may avoid social gatherings or skip church. Here’s how you can help them.</div>
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<li style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: left; line-height: 1.4; margin: 10px 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="label" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">•</span> <div class="" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline; font-size: 1.8rem; line-height: 30.6px; margin-bottom: 26px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="strong" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 18px; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="emphasis" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Help them understand that we’re all alike.</span></span> People who struggle with an anxiety disorder are normal human beings responding in a predictable way to a certain set of beliefs, thoughts, and fears.</div>
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<li style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: left; line-height: 1.4; margin: 15px 0px 10px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="label" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">•</span> <div class="" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline; font-size: 1.8rem; line-height: 30.6px; margin-bottom: 26px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="strong" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 18px; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="emphasis" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Try not to be judgmental.</span></span> Anxiety is not a weakness in the person. Experiencing normal anxiety shows we care. A positive way of looking at people who struggle with anxiety is this: they just care too much.</div>
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<li style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: left; line-height: 1.4; margin: 15px 0px 10px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="label" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">•</span> <div class="" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline; font-size: 1.8rem; line-height: 30.6px; margin-bottom: 26px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="strong" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 18px; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="emphasis" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Empathize with them.</span></span> Be genuine. Listen in order to understand their feelings, appreciate why they struggle, and communicate what you understand. Empathy is the most effective quality of counseling.</div>
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<li style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: left; line-height: 1.4; margin: 15px 0px 10px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="label" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">•</span> <div class="" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline; font-size: 1.8rem; line-height: 30.6px; margin-bottom: 26px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="strong" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 18px; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="emphasis" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Don’t tell them not to worry.</span></span> Telling them “Don’t worry” isn’t going to give them any relief. It also shows that you don’t understand how change occurs or that you’re minimizing the problem. Help them identify what they can realistically do about what worries them.</div>
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<li style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: left; line-height: 1.4; margin: 15px 0px 10px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="label" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">•</span> <div class="" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline; font-size: 1.8rem; line-height: 30.6px; margin-bottom: 26px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="strong" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 18px; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="emphasis" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Don’t tell them they’re being irrational.</span></span> Telling them they’re being irrational won’t help them feel better or be rational. They’ve got to learn how to recognize this for themselves. If you tell them they’re being irrational, they may stop confiding in you, thinking, “I can’t talk to you. You think I’m an idiot.”</div>
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<li style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: left; line-height: 1.4; margin: 15px 0px 10px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="label" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">•</span> <div class="" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline; font-size: 1.8rem; line-height: 30.6px; margin-bottom: 26px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="strong" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 18px; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="emphasis" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Give them support.</span></span> Encourage them to get help. Through their bishop, they can find a good counselor. In a crisis or on a difficult day, offer to help with a difficult demand or task, such as teaching a lesson, fixing a meal, doing laundry, mowing the lawn, tending children, and so on.</div>
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Advice for People Who Suffer from Anxiety Disorders</h2>
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<img alt="man looking sad" src="https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/images/magazines/ensign/2017/03/sad-emotional-man_1873877.jpg" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; vertical-align: middle;" /></div>
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Seek out help</h3>
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If you feel you may have an anxiety disorder, find a good counselor with the help of your bishop. Learn how to work with traits that drive your anxiety.</div>
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Calm your body</h3>
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In moments of low anxiety, practice breathing and relaxation exercises so that when anxiety is high, you can calm yourself a little bit.</div>
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Exercise, especially when highly anxious.</div>
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Eat a healthy diet.</div>
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Calm your mind</h3>
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Practice meditation when you are not anxious.</div>
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Develop and practice positive, rational self-talk. Find specific things to say to yourself that help you calm down (scriptures, quotes, pictures).</div>
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Learn to challenge negative thinking—“Is what I believe about myself also true of other people?”</div>
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Calm your emotions</h3>
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Do not try to control anxiety. That will cause it to increase. Rather, control what you do when you experience anxiety.</div>
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Instead of avoiding situations that trigger anxiety, engage them. Learn to face it. Invite anxiety to stay rather than fighting it. When you do, you become the master of it. It may even leave.</div>
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Listen to hymns, Tabernacle Choir recordings, and other <a class="no-link-style" href="http://www.mormontabernaclechoir.org/" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: none !important; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none !important; vertical-align: baseline;">uplifting music</a>.</div>
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Calm your sense of identity and worth</h3>
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Focus on your identity and worth as a child of God. Accept that your worth is constant rather than measured by performance or what people think of you.</div>
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Read, ponder, have faith in, and take comfort from your patriarchal blessing.</div>
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Develop and write out a positive, accurate script about yourself—using scriptures, hymns, quotes, or your patriarchal blessing—which you can repeat back to yourself when you feel anxious or worried.</div>
</li>
<li style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: left; line-height: 1.4; margin: 15px 0px 10px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="label" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">•</span> <div class="" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline; font-size: 1.8rem; line-height: 30.6px; margin-bottom: 26px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Accept that you will make mistakes and that they do not define you. We all make mistakes. Remember: a key to a peaceful life is learning from mistakes. When you make a mistake, ask, “What good things can I learn from this?”</div>
</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div class="topic" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<h3 style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #3c424e; font-family: Palatino, "Palatino Linotype", Pahoran, Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 2.4rem; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.2; margin: 76px 0px 26px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Get medication if necessary</h3>
<ul class="bullet" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 0px 30px 20px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<li style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: left; line-height: 1.4; margin: 10px 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="label" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">•</span> <div class="" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline; font-size: 1.8rem; line-height: 30.6px; margin-bottom: 26px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Medication may be necessary to get high anxiety under control if it goes unchecked for too long, though it should supplement and not replace counseling, self-talk, and relaxation techniques.</div>
</li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
<div id="references" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 11px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<h4 style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 1.8rem; font-weight: 400; line-height: 1.4; margin: 40px 0px 15px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<a class="show" href="https://www.lds.org/ensign/2017/03/anxiety-and-anxiety-disorders?lang=eng#" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px 15px 0px 0px; position: relative; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Show References<span style="background: url("../../images/common/show-hide-arrows.png") no-repeat; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: block; height: 6px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; right: 0px; top: 5px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 7px;"> </span></a></h4>
<ol style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; list-style: none; margin: 0px 0px 30px 20px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 23px; vertical-align: baseline;"><h3 class="title" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #3c424e; font-family: Palatino, "Palatino Linotype", Pahoran, Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 2.4rem; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.2; margin: 76px 0px 26px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Notes</h3>
<li class="footnote " id="footnote1-13363_000_022" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 18px; line-height: 1.4; list-style: none; margin: 15px 0px 10px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="1-13363_000_022" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </a> <span class="label" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="footnote1-13363_000_022" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1.</a></span> <div class="" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline; font-size: 1.8rem; line-height: 30.6px; margin-bottom: 26px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Sensibility is “the capacity of feeling or perceiving” (Noah Webster, <span class="emphasis" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 18px; font-style: italic; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">An American Dictionary of the English Language</span> [1828], “sensibility”). If it weren’t for the Fall, we would have no joy, for we would know no misery (see <a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/2.22-23?lang=eng#21" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">2 Nephi 2:22–23</a>).</div>
</li>
<li class="footnote " id="footnote2-13363_000_022" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 18px; line-height: 1.4; list-style: none; margin: 15px 0px 10px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="2-13363_000_022" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </a> <span class="label" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="footnote2-13363_000_022" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2.</a></span> <div class="" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline; font-size: 1.8rem; line-height: 30.6px; margin-bottom: 26px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
See Bible Dictionary, “<a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bd/faith?lang=eng" style="background: 0px 0px transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Faith</a>.”</div>
</li>
</ol>
</div>
</div>
<br />
https://www.lds.org/ensign/2017/03/anxiety-and-anxiety-disorders?lang=eng<br />
<br />Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-47069311878512430542017-01-31T18:54:00.001-07:002017-02-01T05:48:51.673-07:00Brand New Day<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-30485571563621678502016-12-14T06:22:00.001-07:002016-12-14T06:31:52.510-07:00Once A Month TherapyI must say that at my sickest point a few years ago, I never thought that I would want to go to counseling or even that I may enjoy it. I love it! I started by going every week for nearly a year. Then cut back to about every other week. Now at just under two years of constant and steady therapy I am down to once a month. I want to go every week. It's like going to church. You go to church every week to be uplifted and have your mind enlightened. Meeting with my therapist does the same thing for me. To only be able to go once a month almost doesn't seem like enough. It's weird. <br />
<br />
Am I dependent on my counselor? Yes! He is one of the only people in my life who understands me and has been able to motivate me, help me think outside the box, and detoxify my life. Sometimes though we become to dependent on our therapists. I have, that's for sure. I'm afraid that without him weekly in my life, that I'll slip back into depression or have to much anxiety. <br />
<br />
My counselor has sent me to a retreat for women of childhood sexual abuse, to a 48 our class to become certified to help my peers. He has got me into group therapy at a place here in the valley. He has introduced me to, and encouraged me to read some awesome mental health books, and done EMDR with me. He has been one of the best friends and helps in my life that I have ever had. <br />
<br />
I am learning that I now have the tools to help myself, and that I only need occasional check ins with my therapist. I am getting stronger and healthier. This coming year my goal is to only go in once a month. Of course, that is all pending on what happens within the year. I am not afraid to go more frequently if things come up and help is needed. <br />
<br />
I really have no idea where I am going with this entry. Only to say that there is a time and place for everything and everyone in our lives. I am grateful for what I have been given. I know that with God's help, and the help of my counselor, I can and will do amazing things. <br />
<br />
Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-42059679353489316792016-12-08T07:47:00.001-07:002016-12-08T07:47:09.088-07:00Peace And Understanding<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15.75pt; margin-bottom: 11.25pt; mso-outline-level: 1;">
So recently that quote from David A. Bednar has been going through my mind. Also this morning these two songs came to my mind. I received a package from my sister Tamra full of pictures, death certificates, marriage certificates, and so on. I opened it up and started to go through it and there was a picture of a baby sitting next to my cousin David, the one who molested me. It was his sister. The only picture I know of that exists of her. She died at about 6 weeks old. This was in 1964 when people didn’t take pictures like we do today. It just wasn’t done. I began crying and am crying still this morning. I started to put pictures on Family Search on all my family that I now had pictures of who didn’t have a face to go with a name. That felt awesome! As I looked through the pictures I experienced many emotions. Anger at how each generation screwed up their children so badly for several generations back. Then sadness, understanding, and love. I asked each of them, How could you do this? I also asked What happened to you? Why did you do what you did? As I went back generation by generation I saw what happened. I know their stories and their depression, and Trauma’s and horrific lives they were all forced to live. I know who started it all, and I will be the one to end it all. It stops here. I will fight for and protect, and love my children like none of my ancestors ever did. Then I think, they didn’t have the medication, or counselor, or gospel that I have. They were spoiled brats, prostitutes, they smoked, drank, and had many men, or women in their lives. They were selfish, depressed, and lonely people. They had no one who truly loved or appreciated them. I looked at those baby pictures, and the ones of all my ancestors as they were growing up, even David’s. I had such compassion for them. Such love and appreciation for them. All that anger was swept away. I have been given understanding, and am able to more fully forgive them. I look forward to the day when I can embrace them in my arms and tell them I love them, and that I am so sorry for what they went through. They all have the gospel now, all except David, and his day is coming very soon. I feel a peace and love, an appreciation and understanding for so many things in my life, and theirs. I may not be the one who started this awful mess that my family got themselves into, and allowed to keep rolling on from one generation to the next, but I can be the one to stop the insanity. I am so grateful to God for bringing these songs, and quotes to my head to help me better flush it all out. I am grateful for my trials and blessings. One day I will see God. One day I will hold him in my arms and cry and thank him for his love and support. He truly never leaves me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15.75pt; margin-bottom: 11.25pt; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;">“I testify that the tender mercies of
the Lord are real and that they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence.
Often, the Lord’s timing of his tender mercies helps us to both discern and
acknowledge them….The Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and
individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance,
loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive
from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ….Faithfulness, obedience
and humility invite tender mercies into our lives, and it is often the Lord’s
timing that enables us to recognize and treasure these important blessings….I
testify that the tender mercies of the Lord are available to all of us and that
the Redeemer of Israel is eager to bestow such gifts upon us….Each of us can
have eyes to see clearly and ears to hear distinctly the tender mercies of the
Lord as they strengthen and assist us in these latter days.” David A. Bednar<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="verse">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I can see clearly now the rain is gone<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
I can see all obstacles in my way<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
It's gonna be a bright (bright)<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
Bright (bright) sunshiny day<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
It's gonna be a bright (bright)<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
Bright (bright) sunshiny day<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="verse" priority_psa_not_processed="" psa_not_processed="" style="box-sizing: border-box;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Oh, yes I
can make it now the pain is gone<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
All of the bad feelings have disappeared<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
Here is that rainbow I've been praying for<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
It's gonna be a bright (bright)<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
Bright (bright) sunshiny day<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="verse" priority_psa_not_processed="" psa_not_processed="" style="box-sizing: border-box;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Look all
around, there's nothing but blue skies<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
Look straight ahead, there's nothing but blue skies<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="verse" priority_psa_not_processed="" psa_not_processed="" style="box-sizing: border-box;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I can see
clearly now the rain is gone<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
I can see all obstacles in my way<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
Here is that rainbow I've been praying for<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
It's gonna be a bright (bright)<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
Bright (bright) sunshiny day<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
It's gonna be a bright (bright)<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
Bright (bright) sunshiny day<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
Bright (bright), bright (bright)<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
Bright sunshiny day<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
It's going to be a bright (bright)<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
Bright (bright) sunshiny day<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
It's gonna be a bright (bright)<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
Bright (bright) sunshiny day<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
It's gonna be a bright (bright)<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />
Bright (bright) sunshiny day<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: 15.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 25.35pt; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -7.5pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">1.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">1. Guide us, O thou great Jehovah,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: 15.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 25.35pt; margin-top: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Guide us
to the promised land.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: 15.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 25.35pt; margin-top: 0in; text-indent: -7.5pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">We are weak, but thou art able;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Hold us with thy pow'rful hand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Holy Spirit, Holy Spirit,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Feed us till the Savior comes,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Feed us till the Savior comes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: 15.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -7.5pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">2.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">2. Open, Jesus, Zion's fountains;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: 15.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Let her richest blessings come.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: 15.0pt; text-indent: -7.5pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Let the fiery, cloudy pillar<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: 15.0pt; text-indent: -7.5pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Guard us to this holy home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: 15.0pt; text-indent: -7.5pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Great Redeemer, Great Redeemer,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: 15.0pt; text-indent: -7.5pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Bring, oh, bring the welcome day,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: 15.0pt; text-indent: -7.5pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Bring, oh, bring the welcome day!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">3.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">3. When the earth begins to tremble,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: 15.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 25.35pt; margin-top: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Bid our
fearful thoughts be still;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: 15.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 25.35pt; margin-top: 0in; text-indent: -7.5pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">When thy judgments spread destruction,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: 15.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 25.35pt; margin-top: 0in; text-indent: -7.5pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Keep us safe on Zion's hill,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Singing praises, Singing praises,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Songs of glory unto thee,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Songs of glory unto thee.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="box-sizing: border-box;"></span><br />
<div class="verse">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-23956619076414700112016-12-07T06:14:00.003-07:002016-12-07T06:14:47.625-07:00Spirals <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDCd_OoSP2DMMmyLOiRpi7vIIpgj8OhhaPjBZc582RPrnpaVkX1IGC8korW3JdIMuhrMaGSPNMjPjv2TStiP-6Lcmw5APKod3wL3H8-4KDaBamG8T5YqW49R8a3CrpYyOjilY4ApzZNBfo/s1600/sparch.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDCd_OoSP2DMMmyLOiRpi7vIIpgj8OhhaPjBZc582RPrnpaVkX1IGC8korW3JdIMuhrMaGSPNMjPjv2TStiP-6Lcmw5APKod3wL3H8-4KDaBamG8T5YqW49R8a3CrpYyOjilY4ApzZNBfo/s1600/sparch.gif" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
At a stress and resiliency class I recently attended we talked about stress and how we spiral in and out of stress. <br />
<br />
Starting at the outside of the spiral write ways, or things that spin you in to stress. <br />
<br />
<b>Becoming more stressed:</b><br />
Some of mine were: Kids saying things they shouldn't have in front of friends, embarrassment, humiliation, anger, worry, sadness, loss of hope, wanting to give up.<br />
<br />
Starting at the inside of the spiral write ways, or things that spin you out of stress.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Becoming less stressed:</b><br />
Some of mine were: Counseling, prayer, sharing my fear with my friend, temple, fasting, studies, trusting God, sleep, baking, positive self-talk, meditation, exercise, coloring. Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-56043343927887388562016-12-04T07:18:00.000-07:002017-01-31T19:00:31.472-07:00Interests-Goals-Skills-AbilitiesI took a Youth in Transition class as part of my Certified Peer Support Specialist training. It was an 8 hour class. I learned so much. One of the things we talked about is how people in recovery from either Mental Health issues or Substance Abuse issues need to make goals. The word "Goals" can sound like work, or sound negative to someone who is trying to improve their life. We talked about different words we could use. One brought up in class was "Achievements". So in other words what would you like to achieve? This morning to my head came, What "skills and abilities" would you like to gain? So you could ask them about their: Interests, Goals, Achievements, Skills, Attributes and Abilities. These can also be open ended questions, getting them to open up and speak about what is important to them. Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-64975330828313823552016-12-01T06:37:00.002-07:002016-12-01T06:37:35.631-07:00Sleep<div class="date" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #a185bf; font-family: leitura-news; font-size: 16px; font-weight: 600; text-transform: uppercase;">
NOVEMBER 30, 2016</div>
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<a href="http://youniquefoundation.org/importance-sleep-survivors-sexual-abuse/" style="background: 0px 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(161, 133, 191, 0.811765); font-size: 46px; outline-offset: -2px; outline: -webkit-focus-ring-color auto 5px; text-decoration: none;" title="The Importance of Sleep for Survivors of Sexual Abuse">The Importance of Sleep for Survivors of Sexual Abuse</a></h2>
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<em style="box-sizing: border-box;">By helping us keep the world in perspective, sleep gives us a chance to refocus on the essence of who we are. And in that place of connection, it is easier for the fears and concerns of the world to drop away.</em></div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; color: grey; font-family: leitura-news; font-size: 16px; line-height: 32px; margin-bottom: 20px; text-align: center;">
-Arianna Huffington-</div>
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Too often a lack of sleep is viewed as a badge of honor. That you’re so busy you couldn’t possibly waste your time on something as unimportant as sleep. “I’m so tired” is considered a battle cry for most people today.</div>
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Sleep is important. It’s a necessity. It can positively or negatively impact every aspect of you – from your health to your mental acuity to your attitude. It seems sleep is the first thing to go when we’re feeling busy or stressed. For survivors of sexual abuse, sleep is particularly important to help you successfully manage triggering memories when they come. Unfortunately for survivors, sleep can be fleeting.</div>
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Reclaim your sleep! Feel the benefits of being well-rested. Below is a list of the things you should do at different times of the day to help you get the best sleep you can:</div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">During the Day:</span></div>
<ul style="box-sizing: border-box; color: grey; font-family: leitura-news; font-size: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 20px;">
<li style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Avoid taking naps.</span> Or, if you absolutely must take one, make sure that it’s for less than an hour and before 3pm.</li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Exercise</span>. Regular exercise will help with good sleep, but try not to do any strenuous exercise in the 4 hours before bedtime.</li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Use a sleep diary. </span>Record your sleep routine from the night before. What did you use to fall asleep? What worked? What didn’t work?</li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Wake up at the same time.</span> Don’t sleep late after a restless night. It may be difficult, but you want to stay on schedule to keep your sleep patterns on track.</li>
</ul>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">In the Evening:</span></div>
<ul style="box-sizing: border-box; color: grey; font-family: leitura-news; font-size: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 20px;">
<li style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Wind down.</span> Before bedtime tell your body that sleep is coming. Spend the last hour before bed doing a calming activity like reading, drinking a cup of caffeine-free tee, meditating, doing relaxing stretches, or breathing exercises.</li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Dim the lights.</span> Avoid bright lights in the evening. This includes the light from electronics as the illumination from the screens activates the brain.</li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. </span>It’s best to avoid consuming any of these for at least 4 hours before going to bed. Alcohol is known to encourage the onset of sleep, but it disrupts sleep later when your body metabolizes the alcohol.</li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Eat right.</span> A healthy, balanced diet will help you to sleep well, but timing is important. An empty stomach can be distracting, but a heavy meal too close to bedtime can be just as detrimental to sleep.</li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Stay positive.</span> The more anxious you are, the more cortisol you’ll release into your body and the less likely you are to be able to sleep. Give yourself permission to let go of those negative thoughts. Put them away until tomorrow and instead focus on positive declarations that focus on feeling calm, peaceful, and sleeping well.</li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Set a bedtime.</span> One of the best ways to train your body to sleep well is to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends and days off.</li>
</ul>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Bedtime</span></div>
<ul style="box-sizing: border-box; color: grey; font-family: leitura-news; font-size: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 20px;">
<li style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Only sleep in your bed</span>. Try not to use your bed for anything other than sleeping, so that your body associates bed with sleep. If you use your bed for everyday activities (like watching TV or paying bills) your body will connect your bed with being awake and alert.</li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Create the right space.</span> It’s important that your bedroom is quiet and comfortable for sleeping. Design your sleep environment to be cool, quiet, and dark.</li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Don’t watch the clock.</span> Frequently checking the clock through the night can wake you up and will reinforce negative thoughts and increase anxiety.</li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Don’t fight with sleep.</span> If you’re wide awake, get out of bed and try again. Do something calming or boring until you feel sleepy, then return to bed. Don’t do anything too stimulating or interesting.</li>
</ul>
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A good night’s sleep will benefit you more than you may realize. Make sleeping well a priority and you’ll soon see how much it will help you on your healing journey.</div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 32px; margin-bottom: 20px;">
<span style="color: grey; font-family: leitura-news;">http://youniquefoundation.org/importance-sleep-survivors-sexual-abuse/</span></div>
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<span style="color: grey; font-family: leitura-news;"><br /></span></div>
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Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-85490116318196277402016-11-30T06:00:00.000-07:002016-11-30T06:00:06.270-07:00Gratitude<b>Gratitude, the practice of being thankful, has significant benefits for children. </b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Gratitude can:</b><br />
Boost overall well-being<br />
Enhance group/team morale<br />
Improve friendships<br />
Protect from negative emotions associated with loss or stress<br />
Encourage better grades<br />
Improve pro-social behavior<br />
Help promote good sleep<br />
<br />
<b>Practicing gratitude can be as simple as asking your child daily, <i>"What are you thankful for today?" </i></b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b><br /></b>
<b>Teresa Handy M.S. Licensed School Counselor</b><br />
<b><br /></b>Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-9615909174996227382016-11-23T13:34:00.001-07:002021-02-17T09:37:11.139-07:00Bird Cage<span style="font-size: large;">If you doubt your ability to make a life-altering decision, to take on a daring aspiration, or to fend for yourself after many years, consider this: Surely, if a bird with healthy wings is locked in a cage long enough, she will doubt her ability to fly. -- Sandra Kring</span>Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-20712580740758014292016-11-18T11:14:00.001-07:002016-11-18T11:16:01.960-07:00Taking Car of OneselfDo something special for yourself: I am getting my brows waxed today.<br />
<br />
Do something that gives you space from the tensions and chaos of life: I get in my truck once a week and go for a ride.<br />
<br />
Do something that engages your creativity or talents that gives you meaning and purpose: I play the piano and sew.<br />
<br />
Do something that you enjoy or relaxes you: Meditation with The Honest Guys You Tube.<br />
<br />
Do something that takes some of the chaos out of your life and gives you a sense of control: I have a daily routine, for each day of the week.<br />
<br />
Do something that cuts over against old negative self-talk: I have a vision board with pictures of me on it.<br />
<br />
Do something that connects you with other people: I go to group therapy and I try to call my siblings.<br />
<br />
Do something that connects you with your Higher Power: I attend church, go to the temple, read my scriptures, and pray.<br />
<br />
Do something that symbolizes a new decision you have made about how you are going to live: I put on make-up, jewelry, and perfume each day.<br />
<br />
Do something that enables you to give of yourself to someone else: I bake and share the good I prepare.<br />
<br />
Do something that prevents old patterns from setting in: I keep my commitments, and go outside my comfort zone.<br />
<br />
Do something that challenges your thinking: I am working on a jigsaw puzzle, I don't like jigsaw puzzles.<br />
<br />
Do something that helps you reflect regularly on your life: I keep a personal journal, study journal, and blog.<br />
<br />
Do something that keeps you healthy: I work out 15 to 20 minutes a day. Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-3107519161258504812016-11-16T10:01:00.002-07:002016-11-16T10:01:43.153-07:00Certified Peer Support SpecialistLast week I took a class. It was a 40 hour class to become a Certified Peer Support Specialist. I learned so much about myself and my mental illness, and recovery. The following are some of the Tasks or Duties and Qualifications for a CPSS:<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-font-width: 105%;">Tasks/duties</span></b><br />
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<span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">The peer will: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Work
collaboratively with clients, co-workers and the community. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Advocate
on behalf of clients and help clients to navigate the health and social
services systems. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Work
closely with clients to address problems and answer </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">questions, gather and provide information and advice, and connect
clients to resources
and to<span style="letter-spacing: 2.45pt;"> </span>the community<span style="color: #231f20;">. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Meet
clients both in<span style="letter-spacing: 2.45pt;"> </span>the hospital and in
the community. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Initiate,
establish and maintain relationships with clients while developing trust and
rapport. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Act
as a<span style="letter-spacing: 2.45pt;"> </span>coach and mentor, and help
clients to set goals and<span style="letter-spacing: 2.45pt;"> </span>work toward
developing skills.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Share
and discuss common experiences with clients. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Help
to build a collective sense of community for clients, and help clients to
create meaningful lives in the community. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Be
responsible for planning, organizing, developing, leading and facilitating
group activities, including education and awareness building efforts. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Complete
administrative duties,<span style="letter-spacing: 2.45pt;"> </span>such as
sending and receiving<span style="letter-spacing: 2.45pt;"> </span>email and
telephone calls, and completing required documentation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Communicate
and work collaboratively with team members, attend team meetings,<span style="letter-spacing: 2.45pt;"> </span>and meet with supervisors to discuss performance.</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-font-width: 105%;">Qualifications</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 5.65pt; margin-right: 5.55pt; margin-top: .7pt;">
<span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Candidates <u>must</u> have: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 5.55pt; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Experience
of mental health and/ or addiction problems. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 5.55pt; margin-top: .7pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 5.65pt; margin-right: 5.55pt; margin-top: .7pt;">
<span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">They <u>should</u> have: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 5.55pt; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Knowledge/familiarity
of the mental health and social service systems, and an understanding of client
rights. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 5.55pt; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Possess
a holistic<span style="letter-spacing: 2.45pt;"> </span>perspective<span style="letter-spacing: 2.45pt;"> </span>of<span style="letter-spacing: 2.45pt;"> </span></span><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial; mso-font-width: 105%;">“</span><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">health.</span><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial; mso-font-width: 105%;">” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 5.55pt; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">The
ability to work effectively in a wide range of settings with people from
diverse backgrounds, including clients and co-workers. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 5.55pt; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Be comfortable
working either one-on-one or in group settings. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 5.55pt; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Excellent
interpersonal skills and should be able to adapt to changing situations. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 5.55pt; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Active
involvement in the community and a willingness to collaborate with others. Excellent
communication skills. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 5.55pt; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Comfort
with public speaking and facilitation of group workshops or activities. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 5.55pt; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Comfort
coaching others <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 5.55pt; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Negotiation
skills. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 5.55pt; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Organizational
skills.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 23.65pt; margin-right: 5.55pt; margin-top: .7pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-font-width: 105%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 105%;">Some
experience planning<span style="letter-spacing: 2.45pt;"> </span>and<span style="letter-spacing: 2.45pt;"> </span>designing events and activities. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 5.65pt; margin-right: 5.55pt; margin-top: .05pt; text-indent: 7.95pt;">
<span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-width: 110%;">This job description suggests that
candidates for the peer position require more than experience with mental
health and/or addiction problems and familiarity with the mental health and
social service systems through which clients must navigate. Expectations of the
job indicate that strong communication skills are of paramount importance to
the position. Because of the collaborative nature of the position, peers must
be able to work in changing situations with a diverse group of people,<span style="letter-spacing: -.5pt;"> </span>interacting<span style="letter-spacing: -.5pt;"> </span>either<span style="letter-spacing: -.5pt;"> </span>in<span style="letter-spacing: -.55pt;"> </span>groups<span style="letter-spacing: -.45pt;">
</span>or<span style="letter-spacing: -.55pt;"> </span>individually.<span style="letter-spacing: -.5pt;"> </span>They should be actively involved in the
community and willing to take on leadership and public speaking activities.
Coaching and negotiation skills are assets for this position, as are planning,
organization and computer skills. These job requirements describe the high
level of skills necessary to be an effective peer support worker. <span style="letter-spacing: 2.0pt;"> </span>They</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
</span><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-font-width: 110%;">also highlight the areas in which there are</span><span style="color: #231f20; mso-font-width: 110%;"> </span><span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-font-width: 110%;">opportunities for training for peer
support workers before they enter their positions as well as ongoing training
to help them hone their<span style="letter-spacing: -1.9pt;"> </span>skills.</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 110%; text-indent: 7.95pt;">
<span style="color: #231f20; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-font-width: 110%;">It
is also important to note that although job descriptions<span style="letter-spacing: -.6pt;"> </span>are<span style="letter-spacing: -.55pt;"> </span>extremely<span style="letter-spacing: -.6pt;"> </span>useful,<span style="letter-spacing: -.65pt;">
</span>they<span style="letter-spacing: -.55pt;"> </span>should<span style="letter-spacing: -.55pt;"> </span>not<span style="letter-spacing: -.65pt;"> </span>be<span style="letter-spacing: -.55pt;"> </span>considered fixed. Programs must be
prepared to assess and<span style="letter-spacing: -.6pt;"> </span>reassess their
own needs and local context, including the skills and experience of the peer
workforce. Peer programming will evolve, as will the individuals employed as
peers, and job descriptions should be adjusted to reflect this evolution. The
job description in this article may not be appropriate for all settings, but it
will contribute to a better understanding of the peer support worker position,
the skills required, and the types of expectations<span style="letter-spacing: -.7pt;"> </span>that<span style="letter-spacing: -.8pt;"> </span>could<span style="letter-spacing: -.7pt;"> </span>define<span style="letter-spacing: -.7pt;"> </span>successful<span style="letter-spacing: -.75pt;"> </span>fulfillment<span style="letter-spacing: -.75pt;"> </span>of<span style="letter-spacing: -.7pt;"> </span>the<span style="letter-spacing: -.7pt;"> </span>role.</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-1084696679786773842016-11-12T11:54:00.002-07:002016-11-12T18:42:30.666-07:00The Way Life Is 1. Everyone has the ability to learn and grow.<br />
Being diagnosed with a mental illness/substance use disorder does not take away the ability to learn and grow; people can recover and move on with their lives.<br />
<br />
2. People's beliefs determine their behavior.<br />
What a person believes about herself, because she is diagnosed with a mental illness or substance use disorder, is the most important determinant of her success in creating the life he or she wants.<br />
<br />
3. People think their way through life.<br />
Being diagnosed with a mental illness/substance use disorder does not take away the ability to think strategically and creatively.<br />
<br />
4. Whatever people focus on, they give power to.<br />
While symptoms and "disability" bring people in for services, the focus needs to shift to wellness and strengths as soon as possible.<br />
<br />
5. Life's experiences are the best teacher.<br />
Your recovery experience is your greatest gift to your peers.<br />
<br />
Recovery is the process of gaining control over one's life - and the direction one wants that life to go - on the other side of a psychiatric or substance use disorder diagnosis and all of the losses usually associated with that diagnosis.<br />
<br />
Hope is the belief that one has both the ability and the opportunity to engage in the recovery process.<br />
<br />
<b>USU Peer Specialist Certification Training Program</b>Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-60839410753222175912016-11-06T05:19:00.001-07:002016-11-06T05:19:14.051-07:00I Am A Tree <div class="MsoNormal">
I am a tree. My roots
and trunk (core) have always been weak, fragile, not strong enough to hold up
my branches (self, friends, family). I
have been so blessed in the past 3 plus years to have a best friend who has
patiently guided me onto a very good path.
I have been given the best counselor who ever existed to teach me and
listen and guide me to being a stronger person.
I have been given a retreat that pushed me so far, in a 4 day span, in
the right direction that I have been able to finally accept and love
myself. I have been given other
counseling and classes through the area that I live in. Now I am privileged to get to attend and
become certified to help others who are on a similar path to me. My roots and trunk are being strengthened and
made so strong. Sometimes they weaken
and need nourishment, but they are stronger than they have ever been. I am able to hold myself, family, and friends
up. It feels so good no not be that sick
and withered tree anymore. If feels amazing
to be strong and powerful and healthy. I
must tend to my roots or I will wither again.
I must take care of myself so I can remain healthy and strong.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHDWA4VdE_SmkDvRf66TwXjYmRVMoXbqFVS5_AH4c71NKJ3UaGspcZBHqZ6EbY7FoPIdCKItFwXjGKDoWVbZZaCmL660XVuPe4BTDK0Mcq5OQMFt4pxX0KJDjOIBnUtoUmX_QCCHKLUxef/s1600/Healthy+and+strong+tree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHDWA4VdE_SmkDvRf66TwXjYmRVMoXbqFVS5_AH4c71NKJ3UaGspcZBHqZ6EbY7FoPIdCKItFwXjGKDoWVbZZaCmL660XVuPe4BTDK0Mcq5OQMFt4pxX0KJDjOIBnUtoUmX_QCCHKLUxef/s400/Healthy+and+strong+tree.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-17760317684311693942016-11-02T06:08:00.002-06:002016-11-02T06:08:32.953-06:00Hugs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicLiQYCJ-1PZcdmevUjfvjVMl4WATXdBcsjbxBt5knCDr3P6mvY-E5u-zTKLXemIeR_2NOHpSFWVGiyryinOCJ2nib61poMRgUG96YDj91VTgmgnlg_Ev28a8I8tDE_dx2dgPoeiBP7jrQ/s1600/Tiger-Hugs-You-.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicLiQYCJ-1PZcdmevUjfvjVMl4WATXdBcsjbxBt5knCDr3P6mvY-E5u-zTKLXemIeR_2NOHpSFWVGiyryinOCJ2nib61poMRgUG96YDj91VTgmgnlg_Ev28a8I8tDE_dx2dgPoeiBP7jrQ/s1600/Tiger-Hugs-You-.jpg" /></a></div>
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Each month my children's school sends home a paper with what is going on that month and there is always a Counselor's note. I really liked this one. </div>
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Hugs--why we need them </div>
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Hugging can be described as a handshake from the heart. The simple action of embracing creates feel-good energy for both the giver and recipient. Science has been looking into its positive effects, and numerous studies related to hugging show that hugging is a crucial part of human development.</div>
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Hugging is Heart Healthy: Embracing activates the hormone oxytocin, which makes us feel all warm and fuzzy. Give your heart a boost with some hugs.</div>
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Hugging Reduces Stress Naturally: If you are feeling a bit drained or pressured, find someone you care about and give them an all-enveloping hug. Research has found that embracing reduces the amount of cortisol (stress hormone) in our bodies, releasing tension and sending calming messages to the brain. Quick fix for relieving stress -- a hug. </div>
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Hugging Babies Helps Them Become Well - Adjusted Adults: Touch is critical to infants, especially in their early stages of life, as it helps them bond with others as they get older. Hugging and showing affection are important for a baby's development. </div>
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Hugging is Important For Adults Too: Physical touch and hugging can combat feelings of loneliness that arise as people get older. Seniors can improve their well - being with a tender embrace. </div>
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Hugging Can Regenerate Muscles: An experiment performed on mice found that older mice who were injected with oxytocin regenerated their muscles faster, matching the regeneration rate of younger mice. Add hugs to your workout. </div>
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Hugging Can Make You a More Mindful and Present Person: Being in the present moment has been shown to increase happiness, and this simple meditation is a great way to combine mindfulness with a powerful dose of oxytocin. Try the hugging meditation to center and connect. </div>
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Hugging Can Minimize Fears: A study on fears and self-esteem looked into the connection between human touch and reducing the fear of mortality. Hugging can help alleviate fears.</div>
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Hugging For Longer Periods of Time is Better for the Body: When people hug for 20 seconds or more, the feel-good hormone oxytocin is released which creates a stronger bond and connection between the huggers. Oxytocin has been shown to boost the immune system and reduce stress. </div>
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Teresa Handy</div>
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<br />Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-18106725254573830092016-10-30T06:48:00.002-06:002016-10-30T06:48:41.154-06:00Sunshine Smile<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC79FVOQaJz2uZ8e1Cc4PROgKV57Tija4LocRORJLNy_QzYLBrTMa9y3VVG1JaL0gZ45TzDUxBlcN4au1grVjaQDNl0ZL4DbGm6DGCH1MQcRQCiHBnbUoK7RLO7-YiV2ok89tTMPGKQD2u/s1600/smile.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC79FVOQaJz2uZ8e1Cc4PROgKV57Tija4LocRORJLNy_QzYLBrTMa9y3VVG1JaL0gZ45TzDUxBlcN4au1grVjaQDNl0ZL4DbGm6DGCH1MQcRQCiHBnbUoK7RLO7-YiV2ok89tTMPGKQD2u/s1600/smile.jpg" /></a></div>
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A smile is like the sunshine; </div>
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It brightens up the day. </div>
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It gives the eye a twinkle </div>
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And chases frowns away.</div>
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Words: Anna Johnson </div>
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Music: Grietje Tergurg Rowley</div>
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LDS Children's Songbook Pg. 267</div>
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Each morning I listen to or read a church hymn, and if it has a scripture to go along with it I read that too. This mornings song just felt like warmth to me. I pictured the warm sun on my face and how it always makes me feel so happy. When we smile at someone or something it brings a joy to our lives, cheers our hearts, and brightens the day. </div>
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<br />Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-76088136593410760442016-10-29T13:34:00.000-06:002016-10-30T06:30:09.940-06:00Empowering Kids to Prevent Child Abuse and Neglect <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrHVRWLK5J8EnjkSy5tRvpKJv-sMXguW64u3trDKANpuLVSnn1hrBFUKxk1VSjUHPxYXtc35dmyda_2p3ja_sWHVduCOZQNxZIDvAhCwpmYtkUQwJyorPgWWJg1NbQgDcOdjgguMP1bw_X/s1600/Survivor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrHVRWLK5J8EnjkSy5tRvpKJv-sMXguW64u3trDKANpuLVSnn1hrBFUKxk1VSjUHPxYXtc35dmyda_2p3ja_sWHVduCOZQNxZIDvAhCwpmYtkUQwJyorPgWWJg1NbQgDcOdjgguMP1bw_X/s1600/Survivor.jpg" /></a></div>
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From Kids Empowered<br />
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Our local elementary school teaches children about abuse. Here are some of the things they teach. I thought they were useful statements.<br />
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1. It's my body! I have the right to keep it safe.<br />
2. No one has the right to hurt or harm a child.<br />
3. Certain parts of the body are private.<br />
4. There are appropriate and inappropriate touches.<br />
5. Bad secrets are secrets that should never be kept.<br />
6. Child abuse is never a child's fault.<br />
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http://kidsempowered.com/<br />
<br />Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-85779575137299611562016-10-24T05:56:00.000-06:002016-10-24T05:56:00.660-06:003 Legged Stool<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihFyZ4llHC4GR2TJ2-Ss7kUhY6MKpY3XwTWt2zbXMbkEdcBOqnxzV-6Z3qvvihxhWKocNQmzQStHtO6nuP1-GGXI3TP6btwffyrzV_Q0PSTs6i1Qes5WWtp2wBe4BFrY2HJOPkzFurNgpA/s1600/Three_Legged_Stool_Outline.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihFyZ4llHC4GR2TJ2-Ss7kUhY6MKpY3XwTWt2zbXMbkEdcBOqnxzV-6Z3qvvihxhWKocNQmzQStHtO6nuP1-GGXI3TP6btwffyrzV_Q0PSTs6i1Qes5WWtp2wBe4BFrY2HJOPkzFurNgpA/s1600/Three_Legged_Stool_Outline.png" /></a></div>
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While reading in<i> Love and Logic </i>this week I came across the 3 Legged Stool.<br />
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Leg 1 -- I am loved by the "Magical People" in my life.<br />
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Leg 2 -- I have the skills I need to make it.<br />
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Leg 3 -- I am capable of taking control of my life.Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-8917346191218682542016-10-16T07:44:00.002-06:002021-02-14T06:42:37.355-07:00My Favorite Letter<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAfqQIlOia3_0ZhLY0h7ipd_sBvpwt3EH9_65_TzcxgHTZfdpEC9zH52-nGN061AzmfNl1tPQo8jqvqgme8muBPpmBSJZAdOndFgF9RMdfmlDtH9shJ_19cxDRkUQwiWl3nPHWZLBKQmy3/s1600/Publicity-Photo-superman-the-movie-20409110-1009-1400.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAfqQIlOia3_0ZhLY0h7ipd_sBvpwt3EH9_65_TzcxgHTZfdpEC9zH52-nGN061AzmfNl1tPQo8jqvqgme8muBPpmBSJZAdOndFgF9RMdfmlDtH9shJ_19cxDRkUQwiWl3nPHWZLBKQmy3/s400/Publicity-Photo-superman-the-movie-20409110-1009-1400.jpg" width="287" /></a></div>
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My friend and I were discussing our favorite letters the other day. I really didn't know what my favorite letter was. Never really thought about it I guess. I'm a slow thinker. What I mean is I like to really think things through. I process and analyze everything. Then it came to me. I like the letter "S". Why S? S stands for Superman. I have a few Supermen in my life. They have helped me in ways that no one else ever could or would. </div>
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Person #1: <b>My best friend</b>. He has given me spiritual advice and counseled me in ways that have made me think about my life and decisions and who I want to be. Because of him I have changed for the better and made happier choices in my life.</div>
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Person #2: <b>My counselor</b>. I've been in and out of counseling since I was 13 years old. I am currently 45. Only for the nearly two years since I started with this counselor have I been able to get past the trauma and hard things I've had to deal with in life and move on. He has taken me to a new level of living. He challenges me and helps me desire to improve and be strong.</div>
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Person #3: <b>My husband</b>. He has provided financially for me for almost 27 years now. He has helped me through some of the most difficult times in my life. He has been patient and tolerant of me when that was not an easy thing to do. He continues to show forth love and support.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJPX1SXv0bKFiXjirYxO0vcfOOW5qNIB24oVqqhSL6tbX0qzTj1-EsapeWW0DJEu2OAkQyIViyx3k5GgclTQ3-Vwac1OJtCoS522NSW8SjQGcS6h2eU_a12IbBpoJwfq1ECGG3au40pL-o/s1600/FB_IMG_1467289341070.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJPX1SXv0bKFiXjirYxO0vcfOOW5qNIB24oVqqhSL6tbX0qzTj1-EsapeWW0DJEu2OAkQyIViyx3k5GgclTQ3-Vwac1OJtCoS522NSW8SjQGcS6h2eU_a12IbBpoJwfq1ECGG3au40pL-o/s320/FB_IMG_1467289341070.jpg" width="244" /></a></div>
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Person #4: <b>My father</b>. He created me. He raised me for 18 years. He became one of my best friends. He was always there to help me, hold me, and love me. My daddy is no longer living, but you don't have to be alive to be someone's hero.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi7-zpBTU2KbAZIdZncQECUJ6ObfxXGyTF5j9saSE48UDigs5k68EGMSxaBEJ1OrW-OHtVn1k4YeZMbomdxJD1z_l8tfTPdJGJEJO87p_JySpQ13BsvHzi_hmKhwQrhCRkPxvRHt6qIx0-/s1600/FB_IMG_1467289117659.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi7-zpBTU2KbAZIdZncQECUJ6ObfxXGyTF5j9saSE48UDigs5k68EGMSxaBEJ1OrW-OHtVn1k4YeZMbomdxJD1z_l8tfTPdJGJEJO87p_JySpQ13BsvHzi_hmKhwQrhCRkPxvRHt6qIx0-/s320/FB_IMG_1467289117659.jpg" width="255" /></a></div>
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<br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Person #5: <b>My Sensei</b>. He has helped me to love myself, to gain confidence, to learn to be in front of people, to feel empowered. He guides and leads me spiritually, emotionally, and physically. This amazing man has helped me to rid myself of so much fear in my life. </div>
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These 5 men are my Supermen. Each one has helped me in ways that I don't think they are even aware of. They are so awesome! My hero's! God has given me the best and I thank him for that!</div>
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Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-70721478442284554502016-10-16T07:13:00.001-06:002016-10-16T07:13:42.936-06:00Like A Lion<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjctN0jAbqekhqhocUmEWT2HrHy4mIqxjTFDhwalKGbghZCvFKt2jEakgEq4cCTkKXKX0sl32I94AeH81sMDfeXEQPnv1oU1xkih2FYfUZKBFe8km4x3QU7eRjDYREtzxyCCqpUAPowamM8/s1600/african_lion_king-wide_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjctN0jAbqekhqhocUmEWT2HrHy4mIqxjTFDhwalKGbghZCvFKt2jEakgEq4cCTkKXKX0sl32I94AeH81sMDfeXEQPnv1oU1xkih2FYfUZKBFe8km4x3QU7eRjDYREtzxyCCqpUAPowamM8/s400/african_lion_king-wide_1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b>A lion is:</b></div>
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A Leader</div>
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Decisive</div>
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Not Afraid</div>
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A Protector</div>
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Strong</div>
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Brave</div>
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Courageous</div>
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A Fighter</div>
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Powerful</div>
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Keeps Things Balanced</div>
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This came into my mind the other morning. I thought on it for a few days. I believe a lion describes who I want to be. I've never had a favorite animal, but I think I do now. </div>
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Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2199995053725918762.post-13645350978098429892016-10-16T07:02:00.002-06:002016-10-16T07:02:36.095-06:00Radical Acceptance<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt; margin-bottom: 9.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Radical Acceptance:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Control freaks</span></b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> rarely know that they are one. They believe
that they are helping people with their "constructive criticism" or
taking over a project because "no one else will do it right."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">They don't see their
controlling behaviors as symptoms of what's really going on--their own anxiety
has run amuck.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Irrational thoughts abound in our high stress world: </span><i><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; padding: 0in;">If I don't get this contract,
I'll get fired. If I'm not home by 6:00, I'm a terrible parent. If I don't get
that raise, I suck at my job.</span></i><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> All of these thoughts might be true, but probably not.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Rather than tackle our
own irrational thinking and massage it into more realistic thinking, we attempt
to control the situation, usually by trying to control other people.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt; margin-bottom: 9.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Want to know if you're
a control freak? Here are eight signs for your self-diagnosing pleasure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.75pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 6.0pt; margin-right: 6.0pt; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: inherit; mso-fareast-font-family: inherit;">1.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You believe that if someone would change one or two things about
themselves, you'd be happier. So you try to "help them" change this
behavior by pointing it out, usually over and over.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.75pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 6.0pt; margin-right: 6.0pt; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: inherit; mso-fareast-font-family: inherit;">2.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You micromanage
others to make them fit your (often unrealistic) expectations. You don't
believe in imperfection and you don't think anyone else should either.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.75pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 6.0pt; margin-right: 6.0pt; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: inherit; mso-fareast-font-family: inherit;">3.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You judge
others' behavior as right or wrong and passive-aggressively withhold attention
until they fall in line with your expectations. Sitting in silent judgment is a
master form of control.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.75pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 6.0pt; margin-right: 6.0pt; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: inherit; mso-fareast-font-family: inherit;">4.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You offer
"constructive criticism" as a veiled attempt to advance your own
agenda.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.75pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 6.0pt; margin-right: 6.0pt; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: inherit; mso-fareast-font-family: inherit;">5.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You change who
you are or what you believe so that someone will accept you. Instead of just
being yourself, you attempt to incept others by managing their impression of
you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.75pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 6.0pt; margin-right: 6.0pt; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: inherit; mso-fareast-font-family: inherit;">6.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You present
worst-case scenarios in an attempt to influence someone away from certain
behaviors and toward others. This is also called fear mongering.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.75pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 6.0pt; margin-right: 6.0pt; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: inherit; mso-fareast-font-family: inherit;">7.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You have a hard
time with ambiguity and being OK with not knowing something.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.75pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 6.0pt; margin-right: 6.0pt; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: inherit; mso-fareast-font-family: inherit;">8.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You intervene
on behalf of people by trying to explain or dismiss their behaviors to others.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt; margin-bottom: 9.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You believe that if
you can change another person's undesirable behavior, then you will be happier
or more fulfilled. You make someone else responsible for how you feel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The thing is, you are only responsible for you. The road to
better relationships </span><i><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; padding: 0in;">always </span></i><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">starts with you.
Rather than attempt to control everyone else, work on becoming a better version
of yourself. Here are a few ideas:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.75pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Be vulnerable with people.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.75pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Never compromise your self-respect by altering your core
beliefs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.75pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Be realistic about your expectations of others. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.75pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Quit the passive-aggressive nonsense--be direct. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.75pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Accept that a large portion of life is laced with
unknowns. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.75pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Embrace confrontation--it really is sometimes the only thing you
can do. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.75pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Take responsibility for your own happiness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt; margin-bottom: 9.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If you work on your
own improvement instead of trying to control others, healthier relationships at
work, as well as everywhere else, will then come to you as a result.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt; margin-bottom: 9.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<a href="http://www.inc.com/shelley-prevost/8-signs-youre-a-control-freak.html"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">http://www.inc.com/shelley-prevost/8-signs-youre-a-control-freak.html</span></a><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Most pain (stress, depression, frustration, anxiety) could
be eliminated by letting go of desires.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Our greatest desires are for spiritual growth and service to
others.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most negative emotions come from our strong reactions
(anger, sadness or frustration) to life not going the way we want. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Practice acceptance of things as they actually are.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Do not have to totally resign, but have courage to change
the things we can.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Accept things I can’t change. Have courage to change what I can. Know the difference.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Don’t resist accepting present reality with a positive
attitude.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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You have limited control over other people and events.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Spirituality and inner peace first.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Go with the flow, don’t resist the current. Bounce back.
Cope gracefully with frustrations.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Be a cork in the river.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Guilt ~ Anxiety ~ Inadequacies ~ Past ~ Present Limitations
~ Anger About Others Behavior <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anger = judging others behavior – Vain wish to control our
environment.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Delete should or should not, replace with I wish. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Look on others with <i>compassion
</i>and try to understand their point of view.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anxiety = cannot accept that unpleasant things can happen
that I do not desire.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Accept and surrender = relax and enjoy.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Do not be self-critical or compare yourself to others =
become more effective in your behaviors.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let go and live well.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Unnecessary distress = making repeated mistakes = inner
fantasies.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Happiness can exist only in acceptance.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Upsetting situations = Practice radical acceptance.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1. Tantrums<o:p></o:p></div>
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2. Messes/chores<o:p></o:p></div>
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3. Punctual/on time<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Russ Seigneberg The Recovery Tool Kit<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Acceptance = peace.
Accepting Reality.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Pray to the Lord for knowledge and spiritual strength.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Selfish desires.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Men are that they might have joy, <i>not frustration, sadness, depression, anxiety or anger!<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Being a control freak does not allow others to feel like
they can use their agency.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Don’t allow your thoughts to make you miserable.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Accept the truth. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Truth and light. Hope
and faith. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The Lord will provide a way, if it is his will. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Use your intelligence and ability (act) to find solutions
(to problems or questions).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Whom I love I chasten.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Experiences for your good.
Grow from them.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
See things clearly with an unprejudiced mind.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Show forth love to those who afflict us.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Faith and humility.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Spirit of charity.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Heart’s right toward others = inner peace.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Acceptance changes undesirable emotions.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sad or upset does not change anything.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Solution triangle = Control, Accept, Change.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Little power over – fantasy – accept – changes – steps –
fears or negative ideas.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Patience and vision, then act.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Practice. Things take
time to achieve. Persistence. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Russ Seigenberg The Gospel Tool Kit<o:p></o:p></div>
Brokenness and Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13721319511720488128noreply@blogger.com0